Are endorphins real?
I can’t seem to find mine - Issue #03
On Tuesday, I went to the first workout class in 5 months.
I used to go to a fitness training class 4-5 times a week for over a year, and in March I had to make some expense-cutting decisions and exercise was the first paid element to be happily removed from my routine. Full transparency, my motivation for an intense workout schedule was 85% a hot bod, 15% health reasons.
I’m fully aware that working out is good for you. I know all about the endorphins and the dopamine release and how everyone feels good and light and strong and renewed and rewarded. Not me. I’ve never, not once in my life, left any kind of workout session and felt good. It’s not that I necessarily feel bad, like I shouldn’t have done it. But there is no positive reward for me post-workout.
After canceling my gym class subscription, I bought a couple dumbbells and a small mat and once in a blue moon do some simple weightlifting online workouts in my living room. I know most of the movements and have good posture and muscle memory. Theoretically, I should have a more athletic spirit, but I have yet to find the fit in benefit.
Still, no matter how low the post-sweat sesh reward is for me, I know that integrating it into my routine will have a high positive return in the future. Plus, if I’m being honest, my love for eating is much greater than my hatred for working out.
Yesterday, my boyfriend and I did a 20-minute upper body and abs HIIT session that I created based on my recollection of exercises. After we were done he asked, “don’t you feel amazing?”
“No… not really.”
During the class on Tuesday, the trainer assumed he would be encouraging me by saying, “C’mon, woman, I wanna see you at the 2028 LA Olympics!”.
“I don’t want that,” is all I could reply between deep breaths and jump squats.
Then, you may ask, why the hell did I go?
Because it’s good for me! Right? Scientifically proven to be good? Right?!
Runner’s high? The only thing I feel after running is thirst and the enormous desire to never do it again.
If I manage to force myself to start this healthy habit again I’ll let you know how it goes.
Um beijo,
GaLeal